Thursday, 17 May 2012

....... how?

there are times in our life that we had to make a major decision drastically, on April 22 2012, I read that Fahmi Reza and Umar was arrested, I suddenly pack my things and leave for Dataran Merdeka. I never knew both them before, but I did saw fahmi in the #occupyodataran camp, when I went there to 'observe and understand' them earlier on Saturday. come to think of it, I might also have watched fahmi's 10 tahun sebelum Merdeka.

Its weird right? to just make a sudden call over to complete strangers, it might not be weird if u're a Bersih 3.0 /#mansuhPTPTN Supporter or a BA (PKR,PAS, DAP and others) member, but I'm neither, technically, on paper, I'm an UMNO member, I'm also influenced by socialism,  because one of the books that I've read was actually writer by Kassim Ahmad the ex-leader of PSRM (Parti Sosialis Rakyat Malaysia), but for me I'm an open book, I'm ready for discussion, I'm not the "this is my ideology/what I believe in, either you're with me or you're my enemy" type, it have become a Malaysian trait, the defensiveness, kau sorang je yang betul attitude, a bigot.

one sided communication have become a norm, especially among politicians, semua boleh nampak tu, its for everyone to see, that is why bit by bit, I'm slowly losing my faith towards Political Parties, both
sides pun sama je. there are is no room for Q & A. All they want is actually a civil obedience, nak jadi raja dunia. but not all are like that.

let me tell you a short story, how do I got involved? why do I wanted to become an activist? simple answer, my dad, the only person I knew who is heavily involved in politics yet still uncorrupted. he was a teacher, a strict one, and they used to hold teachers in high regards, but that was so yesterday la, no one cares now, abah has a lot of connections to, so he helped a lot of villagers, ejas tu, ejas ni, anak nak masuk u, anak nak jadi cikgu, one time siap jadi penjamin beli van for someone, and the person didn't pay for it, and abah got blacklisted, had to pay for the van, to that extent! tapi aku xpernah dengar abah mengeluh, aku xpernah dengar abah menyesal, aku xpernah tengok abah gives up, my mom said, if abah didn't get involve in politics, family kitorang dah kaya, I don't really know the meaning, maybe because abah prefers to use his own money to help the villagers rather than asking from "sponsors", abah never used his connections to get contracts, never did he use it to gain a political mileage. Abah constantly argue with his political leaders if he thinks that something is not right. and abah do believe in the merge between Umno and Pas is good. for me abah is more than just a politician, abah is an activist, someone who wanted to help people, he is a regular in  Sinar Harian Kelantan, and for the first time, was covered by  NST online, doing what he believes in... I know abah is not corrupted, so his fight is genuine

but that is my dad, I'm a complete different person, even if i grew up watching him, wanted to be an activist like him, my course trough life is different, the way i look at things, the way i think, are different....

Sunday, 4 July 2010

*sapu* *sapu*

berdebu gila kat sini....

*sapu* *sapu* *sapu* *sapu* *sapu* *sapu* *sapu* *sapu* *sapu* *sapu*

Monday, 31 August 2009


selamat menyambut hari kemerdekaan yang ke 52 Malaysia, tak seperti tahun2 lepas, sambutan tahun ni tak la meriah, langit dan bumi kalau dibandingkan dengan sambutan2 yang lepas.... its expected, since we all are busy with Ramadhan and H1N1. tapi bukan sambutan yang aku hiraukan, semangat itu sendiri luntur bersama dengan pudarnya semangat patriotik kita.

Menurut Tesa Urus Bahasa Melayu Dewan (1998), Merdeka bermaksud "merdeka: bebas, lepas, berdiri, bersendiri, berleluasa, berdikari, langgas; memerdekakan: membebaskan, melepaskan, memberhentikan, mengeluarkan; kemerdekaan:kebebasan, kelepasan, hak asasi". Manakala menurut Kamus Pelajar "bebas drpd penjajahan, kurungan, naungan dll; tidak bergantung pd yg lain; berdiri sendiri: Malaysia negara yg ~ dan berdaulat.memerdekakan memberikan kebebasan; melepaskan drpd penjajahan, kurungan dll. kemerdekaan keadaan merdeka atau bebas; kebebasan"

Di samping itu, menurut Kamus Dewan Edisi Ketiga Merdekabermaksud " (merd├ęka) bebas (drpd penjajahan, kurungan, naungan, dll), lepas (drpd tebusan, tuntutan), berdiri sendiri, tidak bergantung pd yg lain: Malaysia ialah sebuah negara yg ~ dan berdaulat; besok ia jadi seorang awam yg ~ dan tidak lagi menjadi perajurit".

Timbut persoalan, siapakah sebenarnya pejuang kemerdekaan kita? adakah cuma mereka yang berarak menentang Malayan Union? bagaimana dengan kumpulan2 pejuang berhaluan kiri? Kesatuan Melatu Muda (KMM), Parti Kebangsaan Melayu Malaya (PKMM), Angkatan Pemuda Insaf(API), Angkatan Wanita Sedar(AWAS), semua kumpulan2 ini telah lama menentang penjajahan British sebelum UMNO menentang Malayan Union, don't you think they all deserve some credits? This guys were jailed, during British occupation before World War II, Ibrahim Yaacob personally asked for Malaysian Independence from the Japanese but was turned down. Ahmad Boestamam together with PKM fought agains the Japanese invasion on Tanah Melayu.

Adakah kerana idealogi mereka berbeza, meraka ini tak layak digelar wira bangsa? pejuang kemerdakaan? bukankah sedikit sebanyak ada juga sumbangan mereka? Jahat mana pun mereka pasca merdeka, inilah national front yang bangkit melawan penjajahan Jepun, mana British? mana Belanda? those cowards ran back to their country, pissing their pants!

* aku bukan seorang sosialis, im just a rebel

Sudah 52 tahun kita merdeka, tanpa British mengutip cukai dan membunuh pejuang yang menentang pemerintahan kuku besi mereka, ataupun askar2 Jepun yang terkenal dengan kekejaman mereka...

52 years have passed, and we are in the eyes of the world no, with the world's tallest twin towers, a world class F1 circuit, a world class airport, and world 1st smart tunnel that integrated traffic and water management, etc

For a while, lets us all forget about globalisation or world class facilities, and lets talk about mentality. Malaysian mentality, its dissapointing to say that we still have 3rd world metality, i wont talk about how much our mind have been polluted by the media blablabla.... ok? find the truth yourself
*lihat dengan mata hati, bukan dengan membuta tuli*

we all have a fresh memories about few weeks ago, right? when H1N1 virus starts to spreads in Malaysia, did we took any precaution measures? other than closing schools? i went to KLIA few time since the virus outbreak, and most peolple said that there surveillence and precaution measures taken by airport personnel are loose, i don't know what went wrong, either they took it for granted or there is no black and white on how precaution measure should really be taken on Malaysian borders/airports. On 21th Aug 2009, just 10 days ago, Malaysia was still ranked 9th, but when i went out, only 1 out of 10 Malaysian wear masks. Another well known fact about Malaysian, Malaysian are filthy, look at our public toilets, look at our rivers. look at YOUR drain!

maaf, masa tidak mengizinkan, i need to sungkai(buka puasa)

erm, after 546 years of colonisation, we gained independence, but independence is not the proof that we are free, how can you proof that your mentality is liberalised???

dan siapa yang menjajah pemikiran kita? jawapannya, kita sendiri,kita dibelenggu dengan sikap berpuak-puak, kita dibelenggu dengan pemikiran jumud, kita dibelenggu dengan stereotype

jadi, merdeka kah kita?

Saturday, 29 August 2009


I can't even remember since when, all i know, the only singer that i can remember during my childhood was him, i used to impersonate him, his style, some of them still exist with me now, you just have to focus. :D

I learned moonwalk on my own, my all time favourite was " Earth Song ", an early exposure for me, which makes me who i am today, and my passion towards Global Warming, War and Peace, Racial Discrimination, HIStory and damned Politics, etc

I would go gaga when tv2 shows his video clip, most noticeably "earth song" & "black and white", i would do moonwalk and show off in front of my friends, i never love any singer as much as love him, that was years ago, growing up older, i start to listen to various music genre, i still listen to his song, including Jackson's 5, most noticeably, "I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Clause" & "ABC 123". i told a friend once, i don't go gaga over to Pop, unless its Michael.

I can't do Moonwalk anymore neither listening to him for quite a long time, only occasionally on other people's playlist, since my harddisc melted. i've all his album since Thriller to Invincible. I still love him though, I went gaga again when i heard about This Is It, too bad, its over now, i'll never see him again, he wen't away on June 25 2009.

He supposed to turn 51 today, on August 29 2009

Michael, for for every dance that entertained me, for every song that inspired me, for every action that taught me, for everything that u've made me, I thank you.

GOD Bless You, Michael.

Rest In Peace

Michael Joseph Jackson
(29 Aug 1958 - 25 June 2009)

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

the choice is yours

i have nothing in particular to write, but, i have stumbled upon an article, enjoy reading it...

Exclusive: I Can Keep Fasting In Ramadan Even When I Am Playing – Fredi Kanoute

Fredi explains how he makes the seemingly impossible a reality during a certain month each year...

Aug 24, 2009 9:00:00 AM

Fred Kanoute - Sevilla (AFP)

To be tremendously fit is a must for all professional footballers: a demand that leads some Muslim players to forgo the duty of fasting during Ramadan, preferring to fulfill their obligation when the football season ends. However, for Sevilla’s Freddie Kanoute, this is not the case.

The former Tottenham Hotspur striker believes it is possible for a modern footballer to remain in peak physical condition during the holy month.

The likes of Kanoute, along with Real Madrid's Mahamadou Diarra, Lassana Diarra, and Karim Benzema, are the talk of football world as doctors work around the clock to formulate a routine in order to keep them hydrated during the fasting process.

And as Spanish tabloids splash headlines about the fasting month and debates rage about whether players should even be allowed to fast and play during Ramadan - Kanoute insists he just wants to get on with it.

“I try to respect my faith and follow it as best I can,” Kanoute told

“It is sometimes harder to keep the fast because here in the south of Spain it is very hot, but I can do it, thank God.

“There are many Muslim footballers who people just do not know about in England in Spain, France and in many other leagues too. But having faith and practicing Ramadan is not something they wish to tell the world about.

“Personally, having faith helps my football and football helps me to be healthy and strengthens me. There is no conflict because people who know about Islam, they know that fasting empowers and does not weaken the Muslim.”

While Barcelona's fans are wondering if the likes of Eric Abidal, Seydou Keita and Yaya Toure - all Muslims - will be fasting, Real Madrid fans know of the importance their Muslim players - especially Mahamadou Diarra - place in their religion and his traditions.

Respect | Mahamadou Diarra
“Every coach has respected my decision,” says Diarra on his Real Madrid profile page.

“They are difficult days during which one needs to eat, but it only lasts one month. I have another ten to play well.”

The Sevilla and Real Madrid players stance on Ramadan is shared by eminent specialist - Doctor Yacine Zerguni, a member of the FIFA and CAF Sports Medical Committees.

Zerguni collaborated with F-marc, the FIFA Medical Assessment and Research Centre, in a study on the effects of observing Ramadan for Muslim players: two professional football clubs in Algeria agreed to undergo biological, clinical and psychological tests before, during and after the month of Ramadan.

The study constituted a world first in this particular area and formed the foundations for scientific analysis of the potential impact of Ramadan on player performance.

“This month of physical and mental self discipline, which must also be free from any unhealthy or aggressive behaviour,” Zerguni told, when asked if Ramadan was compatible with the practice of top-level football.

“Ramadan is intended be a period of internal purification and meditation; a period of regeneration. It is far from harmful. Indeed, the psychological study of the personality formed an integral part of our research project.


Ramadan is intended be a period of internal purification and meditation; a period of regeneration. It is far from harmful.

“And although many players who were tested could not adapt to playing whilst fasting, one has to remember that it is highly likely that the effects of Ramadan are also linked to the spiritual qualities and physical capabilities of each athlete.

“Therefore certain players who continuously observe Ramadan when playing: their body can adapt because they are used to it - but many players can get tired. Players will have to work on effective pre- and post-match routines that will help them conserve energy and strength.”

Making a difference | Kanoute
Both Mahamadou Diarra and Kanoute place particular emphasis on the charity work during Ramadan. They donate a large portion of their earnings to charities in Mali with the hope of building a better future for their fellow citizens.

For Kanoute, a chance to “make a difference during Ramadan” is something very close to his heart.

“During Ramadan I give my all for my club and try not to let my team-mates and the fans down," he continued. "Everyone here has been very good to me and they understand. They also understand that during Ramadan you have a chance to reach out to those in need.

“For me, my charity is very important. I wanted to help with charity work for some time and a few years ago I went ahead with it and The Mali Children’s Village cares for orphaned and vulnerable children. There is a very big need to work with children here, especially orphans.

“My father was born a Muslim but as an orphan, he didn’t really know a lot about it, but he did try to teach me a few things. Children are our future and we should always try to ensure they are safe and have a good upbringing.”

original post :

Credit to : Mohammed Bhana,

Monday, 24 August 2009


i have a bad feeling about my result.... and yeah, i came out pretty bad... im supposed to graduate this semester... sheesh! more dissapointing... just by fewer than 5 marks!! arghh!!!


have you ever feel that enough is enough? that its about time to make changes to your life? leave your comfort zone and start looking for something new? for your future?
i think my time has come...

Sunday, 23 August 2009

hari ini.sekarang

today, 2nd Ramadhan 1430H, i start to write again, ive quit writing since few months ago due to certain difficulities, which have been solved.

my emotions have not been stable lately, since last month to be exact, a period where there was a lot of road, junctions, choices, and decision. i keep on delaying it, my decisions, because im afraid of losing, im afraid to lose my status quo, because im comfortable now.

during Ramadhan last year i almost lost my life due to dengue, for a week i suffered, and was warded for another week. i hope this year it will be smoother for me. i have made a promis to myself that i will keep a clean sheet this year. i failed to do so since 2000 i guess. its a good start for me. well, everybody changes, this is my evolution. my renaissance.